Blog post 2 : The story behind clinginess

In the previous entry, I have discussed on what is being clingy all about.  Clingy are those people who become too depended and needy of their partner.  And if we will base this on movie, Clingy people will always be the annoying character to watch. I mean, they are too irritating to watch because they are too needy and obsessed that made them the least favorite characters (in their own point of view).

In my opinion, example of an obsessed and clingy character is the famous Isabella Swan of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight. Bella is too engrossed with her love with Edward. She would do anything for him. She would even give up her humanity just to be with him forever. And also, Bella’s reaction when Edward broke up with her is over rated. Come on, would a normal girl try to kill herself just because her love of her life left her?

But like in the every book, there are several reasons on why people become who they are today. Each and every one of us has our own story.

People don't cling just because they want to. Of course there will be a reason behind that. In the book entitled "The Intelligent Divorce: Clingy Intimacy" written by Mark Banschick,M.D, he states that : 

    "Many of us become afraid that if the person we are intimate with leaves, they will never return. We are afraid that if our partner talks to a member of the opposite sex, that all is over. And, this is all in the context of a relationship in which you truly feel loved. It makes no sense because neediness is less often about the present, and more often about the past. It has its origins in childhood."

Perhaps, clingy people loves attention so much because in their childhood they were the invisible and concealed child of the family. Maybe because their sister/brother is smarter or more attractive than them. They feel like they weren't good enough. Past experiences trigger their present relationship. The memories from the bad childhood made them to cling to things they value so much. That's why they find someone that will love them they tend to encircle them with their love -- too much that it's suffocating.

I experienced that myself. I grew up being the less loved child in the family. I found the comfort in my friends and my ex boyfriend. That's why I've been too attached with them than with my family. But unlike the others, I know how to control my clinginess. I know when and how to let go of someone that is not supposed to be in my life after all. 

    

Another possible reason of someone's clinginess is because they've been hurt in the past.  They experienced how depressing it is to be left so they put on their very best so that the new guy/girl will never leave.The irony, of course, it that the more you worry, the more he or she can't stand it.The more you hold one, the more he/she tries to escape.  

A Clingy person believes that happiness only comes from their "someone". They cling them because they made them happy. They believe that "only their lovers can make them happy". 

Clinginess is reflection of someone's fears and insecurities. When you think that your partner is being too clingy, confront them properly. Don't be too harsh on them cause It will just open deeper wounds. Remember that, Clingy people are not aware of what they are doing unless you'll told them so. 

Clingy people are sad and depressed. They cling so much because they love to feel loved. You, as a partner, should love them at least the way they love you.